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A guy walks into the doctor’s office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his rear.
The doctor takes one look and he says, “Damn, Son, it looks like we have one hell of a problem here.” The guy responds, “This is just the tip of the iceberg."

What’s the opposite of “young, dumb, and full of c*m”?
“Old, smart, and can’t trust a fart”.

What do d*cks and spiders have in common?
People always exaggerate how big they are.

Two nuns are out cycling.
One says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
Second Nun, “It must be the cobbles.”